Are you familiar with these and did you consider using them to disarm negative public opinion? Did that work for you, or did you still struggle with your religious beliefs? I believe there can be genetic components in homosexuality.
But put him in a family with an absent father, or a father who wants an athletic son in sports, and he may feel rejection from the father, creating a distance between them. Throw in an overbearing, excessively attentive mother that fills in the void the father has left, and you might have a boy that begins to identify with mom and the feminine side, instead of dad and the masculine. One can see how those building blocks could lead that boy down a path of trying to receive his God-given need for masculine love and affection through other men. Many of the gay men I know experienced this story in their lives.
Their need for masculine love became sexualized, leading them to homosexuality. It does, however, mean that the journey away from homosexuality might be that much more challenging. I used to tell people I was born gay. I knew I never wanted or asked for these desires.
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I had attractions to boys growing up, but I was drawn more emotionally to women. In normal childhood development, when puberty hits, the opposite sex no longer seems gross anymore. Instead, your switch flips and you become attracted to the mysterious opposite sex. That was not my experience. I stood on the side with boys, and opposite me were the women. I understood guys. They were my friends and I hung out with them.
Women were my mysterious other. They were the ones I wanted to be accepted and affirmed by.
My early vows to not be like my mother, and a consequential rejection of the feminine, led me down the path toward lesbian relationships. I was in the closet about my feelings. So in the middle of the most fulfilling relationship I had ever had, something was wrong and it was hard to find information to provide me with answers.
I secretly tried to find literature on homosexuality to tell me why I lacked peace in my relationship. Today I know it was God pursuing me. The scriptures I found in Leviticus and , Romans and 1 Corinthians all made me feel terrible. Words like abomination and unnatural —was that me?
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I liked their interpretation better. They said what I wanted to hear. They claimed that the scriptures were misinterpreted by bigoted, narrow-minded Christians. The interpretation was not of a loving monogamous gay relationship, but one of slave to master, man to boy—i.knudeardottadi.ga/1585-chico-35-anos.php
In those gay theological interpretations, I thought I found my salvation, because now I could keep my girlfriend, be at peace, and have God, too. The truth won out and the reconciliatory nature of Christ broke through my deception and brought me to Him. What emotional and spiritual battles are there uniquely within same-sex relationships? Are there any cyclical issues? You can never put anyone in a box on any issue.
Everyone is unique, with unique baggage they bring into their sin. For me, the emotional enmeshment has been the biggest hurdle to overcome. The physical aspect of my relationships was always a byproduct of the emotional needs and connection. They were God-given needs that, when met in healthy ways, would change my desires and outlook.
It would change my core. They helped me to accept my imperfect self, and let God do the work in my life. Another big battle is isolation and loneliness. Homosexuality in many churches is thought of as the BIG sin. According to some, there seems to be a special place in hell for gay people. So believers struggling with same-sex attraction hide in the pews and are afraid to share their battle for fear of rejection and being ostracized. Reveal that you struggle with alcoholism, and people will rally around you. But share about your attraction to someone of the same sex, and people will vacate your pew.
So thousands of gay church members go to church faithfully, but can never share their struggle. They walk and suffer alone. Their shame leads to isolation, and it is never good. They need connection, they need community, and they need support. The gay community and its tight-knit group are very powerful.
I know because it was the first place I ever felt welcomed and accepted. Something the church family should be but falls short in being a safe place. Fear can drive many people underground, to suffer alone and that is where Satan rules and reigns. A community where it is safe to be open with my life has been the biggest help in my walk. When did you first begin to reconsider your same-sex relationships and what eventually led you to leave it behind?
From the very first girlfriend, I never came to a place of peace. At my happiest time with her, peace was elusive. I had lots of friends and support in my gayness. But it was God who wooed me back. I now understand that my need for relational fulfillment through a girlfriend was never meant to fill that place in me. My internal, moral compass pointed me to something more.
Desires in Conflict · Linda Seiler - Linda Seiler
It was Jesus who I craved and needed. So my journey out of lesbianism came through a combination of lacking peace in a same-sex relationship, and a growing awareness that God was real and he had something greater for my life. Looking back, what choices would you have made differently? If you had the people or resources to help, what would that look like? First and foremost, I wish I had been able to give a voice to the things I was feeling and my fears.
If I had had a trusted friend, teacher, or youth leader that I could have processed my turmoil with, things might have turned out differently. I wish I would have had someone to push past my defenses and get to know me. I would have wanted someone to pursue me and invest in me. I was starving in the desert and I took anything for relief, even those bitter things that tasted sweet. I did share my story with my brother early in my college career. And I know that I love you and God loves you….
I broke down crying and rested my head in his lap. I had planned on his rejection and potential disgust with me, but when his response was kind and gentle, I released all that pent up emotion. Through the next 10 years my brother never asked me how it was going, and it frustrated me. I had many faulty perceptions back then and they ruled my life. What I thought I wanted was not what I needed. My brother listened to God and loved me the way I needed to be loved. Our core scripture was Psalm The mission was to walk with, educate, and equip those affected by homosexuality.
It included same-sex attraction men and women, parents, friends and family of gay-identified children, married and singles. He disengaged you from habits and tendencies that were destructive. No matter how hard you have striven to learn, to repent, and to grow, it has been His grace that has enabled you to do so. To read an excerpt from Joe Dallas entitled Out of Deception , go here.
He would like to understand how and why this came about for him and to help him be whole, happy and healthy when he is an adult and out on his own. My son has just recently told his father and me that he is gay. Not really knowing what all that entailed, I embarked on a reading frenzy. We are in the midst of struggling with his announcement, with what we had done wrong, if we can help him in any way. If, what and how and why.
All these questions run through my mind daily, nightly. In all this we strive to honor our God. We struggle to keep the secret, we struggle to get help. Writing these book reviews are my way of threshing out my thoughts, my fears, my hopes. I want to thank Cavman for posting these anonymously for me. I am also hoping if someone else out in the web-o- sphere is looking for help for themselves or a loved one, they find these book reviews…Blessings.
Comments RSS. You are commenting using your WordPress. You are commenting using your Google account. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Share. Description For more than a decade, Desires in Conflict has been the definitive "must-read" for those who wonder "Can a homosexual change? More than a decade later, I am free of desires that once held me captive, strong in my faith, married to my amazing wife, Leslie, and currently the Executive Director of Exodus International, North America.
The Lord used Desires in Conflict to help guide me out of homosexuality. Joe Dallas has eternally impacted a generation of young people like me. About the Author Joe Dallas is an author, speaker, and pastoral counselor who conducts seminars nationwide. He is the founder of Genesis Biblical Solutions in Tustin, California, and has written six books on human sexuality from a Christian perspective, including such authoritative resources as the bestselling Desires in Conflict, The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality, and The Gay Gospel?
Related Desires in Conflict: Hope for Men Who Struggle with Sexual Identity
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